Monday, March 14, 2016

Jack Of All Trades

There’s two old fellers in the neighborhood and you gotta love em although they’re so often misunderstood.
Slim and Slick is not their given name but I’ll call em that if it’s all the same.
They’re a jack of all trades and they can do anything. They raise hogs, calves, chickens, grow gardens, the best you’ve ever seen, collect junk metal and haul wood, the list could go on and that’s just the upswing.
Anything that comes along, these fellers can do. They never back down, they always see it through.

They’ve cleaned up the community and the country side too. There’s no scrap metal or junk to be found and we all feel pride when we pass through.
 They cut and haul wood in their spare time, deliver and unload, no better service will you find.
If you need anything done, just give them a call. They’ll come running  even if they’re so tired they have to crawl.

You might find em at the barn bottle feeding a calf or running after a cow and it’s hard not to laugh.
One old cow named Oprah thought she had em pegged one day as she run. She was gonna show em it was her way or the highway before she was done.
They put her in the pasture to dry up some, hoping for a calf when the cooler weather come.
She got out of the pasture and was on the other side of the fence. It was early morning when it all commence. 
They run her all day on the other side of that fence. Their tongues were hanging out, it was a good thing they both had stopping sense.
She wore em plum out, they were tuckered don’t you know. That old cow thought that grass was greener on the other side and after it she did go.

Now old Oprah is usually a really good,ole cow. She’s produced a lot of milk, butter and buttermilk, done more than any other cow.
This time she wanted to be wild and free and who could blame her. She should have won the mother of the year award for feeding so many calves loyally.

 When they finally caught her and put her back in the stall. She was mad as a hornet and what happened next takes the cake and beats it all.
They keep an old box fan in the barn on when it’s hot. She flew mad and did her business at the back of the fan and it became windblown in every corner and spot.
I’m telling you the truth, yes-siree. That stuff blew all over the place and oh what misery.
You’ve heard the old sayin, the crap hit the fan. Well if you knew these fellers like I do, you’d understand.

Old Slim is lanky and quite tall and Slick is shorter and built kinda small.
If you ever see em you’ll know em and they’ll be easy to recall.
Slim was the one that discovered what she did and he hollered come quick Slick and lookiee here, and while you’re at it bring me another beer.
Slick said, what’s that on your face Slim, and why you got that big, ole  grin. Slim said, will you open your eyes and look around, where you been?
Apparently, Slick had been tending to a calf in the back of the barn. About that time something hit him in the eye and all he could say was I’ll be darn.

Not to many people know about this little incident but word has ways of getting around, and as long as they live they’ll never live this one down.
It’s things like this that happen all the time. These old boys are like two peas in a pod and two of a kind.
It seems if it wasn’t for bad luck they’d have no luck at all.
 They sure can get themselves in a mess and that’s their downfall.

It‘s even harder on em come winter time when the cold, north wind blows in. They build a big fire in the wood heater and all the chickens, dogs and cats gather in.
I call that barn their headquarters, so many things going on every day. Headquarters are very important to all working men when it’s the place they purt nigh stay.
Before ye walk in ye can smell a pot of beans, etc on the wood, burning stove or whatever suits their fancy, two old working fellers cooking up a tasty, treasure trove.

It doesn’t matter what the season is, they’ve always got work to do. You might even pass em on the road, hauling in feed. It keeps em really hopping too.
What time they’re not in the gardens, sweating to beat the band.
But it all pays off and harvest time is so grand.

They can grow the prettiest and biggest gardens you’ve ever seen. They do all this while raising calves and hogs and everything else in between.
And they believe in sharing their bounty with the neighborhood. They ain’t a bit stingy, they give more than they should.
I get my fair share every year. That kraut sure will taste good when cold
weather gets here.
 And those squash, beans, corn and maters are oh so fine. Nothing like
em anywhere, store bought ain’t worth a dime.

These fellers provide more services in one day then you’ll find in the phone book. If they can’t do it they’ll find a way, if you don’t believe me then come and take a look.
They should have won The Nobel Prize Award for being the most generous around. I’m gonna make sure their name’s in the pot the next go around.

 So every morning when they wake and their feet hit the floor, they grab a dip of Copenhagen and run out the door.
 Taking care of business like the day before, so much to do as they tend to each chore.
They go from one thing to another the live, long day, working hard with plenty of satisfaction and blessings as their pay.

So if you pass through my neighborhood and see it so clean, or two old fellers running after a cow and tending a garden in between, hauling wood or junk metal, they’re living the good life the best you’ve ever seen.

And be sure and watch for em next on the evening news. They’re real popular in these parts and the old cow too. She’ll be the one that moos and they’ll be the ones with manure on their shoes.

This is an older post but still remains true today some what. Please keep Slick, Aka my cousin in your prayers. He had a heart attack over the weekend and had to have stints put in. But he's on the road to recovery and should be home soon. I know Slim sure is missing him along with everyone else and their aunt and uncle too.  Many Thanks in Advance. ~Susie

P.S. Slim is Aka, my brother .


  1. Great story, Susie! I'm sorry to hear about your cousin having a heart attack. Prayers for him here.

  2. This was a "good 'un" Susie. I understand a lot of these things having worked around cattle and the farm.

  3. Sounds like two mighty handy fellows to have around! Praying Slick is up and around and back to being helpful real soon.

  4. May your cousin heal and be well. I know God knows him and what he needs.